The isolation no one talks about
A letter from a mom with a special needs child
Milestone mamas, I need to talk to you.
Milestone mamas, I have been avoiding you like the plague.
The thing is, I am one of you. It’s my favorite thing to talk about my kids with other moms about what our kids are doing. It isn’t about competition but the community. Being a mom and finding other mother’s with children of similar ages is always fun to have someone to talk to, to understand what you’re currently going through, and to share stories with. But now, with a son with Down Syndrome and significant delays, I have intentionally avoided you, and I miss you.
You know, maybe it’s me. Perhaps I haven’t learned how to talk to other moms about it when it’s brought up. You would think with 4 kids I could figure this out, but it’s so damn hard. It feels like it’s always our mom’s intro.
Her: Oh cute, how old is your son? Mine too! Is he crawling yet? Walking?
Me: No, he is a bit delayed
Her: Oh *awkward silence
Me: (Because I don’t know when to stop talking) He has Down syndrome so we are letting him learn at his own pace
Her: oh ok, well he is cute
Me: Thank you
Me proceeding to walk away from this super awkward moment.
Fun right? I know life will have different challenges for us. But I wish, wish so bad we had another opening line as moms because I miss you all, and it gets weird really fast.
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