November 14, 2023
I still think about the time we spent together where outside one large window was our view. Your brothers only got to talk to you through a small phone video. I try not to let the past create our now, but I have often used it to create pockets of thankfulness when I feel overwhelmed with all the things we have going on. Part of this gratefulness is being able to get your photos. Sitting in grass that you weren’t able to before because we were in a hospital for months. Little smiles and eye sparkles from the warm sun hitting your cheeks. Do you realize how much a photo can hold? How much emotion, love, and thankfulness it helps create?
Since the beginning of your life, I have told myself to find the moments even when it seems hard. I feel guilty about the sadness I carried around your life when I found out you had Down Syndrome. How wrong I was thinking that you would not be everything I dreamed of. I searched and searched for babies and children like you would be to start re-programming my thought process and my heart. In an age where social media in many ways I see as more harm than good, it did something amazing. It showed me children like you are happy and thriving. Parents share smiles, laughter, and cute moments so parents like me know this is something we can also look forward to. Photos and videos brought me hope, compassion, and gratefulness. How thankful I am to have these moments and images to take me back to them.